Hello

Oh hello. Finally decided to blog a lil bit. So sorry that i've been neglecting this blog again and again. I've been busy busy busy. Lot's of things has happened lately. It seems very "rushed". Ohwell, i'm turning legally 18 in less than 7 days. Like finally. Pictures taken during Shahril's engagement last month. So proud of you bro! Last but not least, what's with the "harlem shake" thingy? Annoying as fuck la please. Abrupt ending, goodbye!

Hello Since when did blogspot change so much? Talk about me being missed out a lot. So yeah, finally i decided to update this small space of mine since it's my off day. So let's start! I've quit school *GASPS!* *JENGJENGJENG* Yes, i've quit. I can't really stand looking at those bitches and jerks in my school and furthermore i can't really concentrate in class due to some monkeys making ruckus here and there. The teachers are the worst! They can't even handle their own class la my goodness sake! So yeah, decided to take a break and go to school again next year under Kaplan to take my diploma. If everything goes well, yes i'm gonna go ahead with my plan to take the diploma :) So what am i doing now? I'm currently a full time beauty consultant and the pay is quite good for me being a 17 year old. Helping my parents out with the bills and for my enjoyment as well. My house is in a fucking mess right now cause we're gonna move AGAIN. I've only just moved back in 2011 august and now we're moving again. Le sigh. I hate the thought of having to pack up and unpack. So tiring la my god! So, i'm gonna stop now since Bull and Yogi are fighting. Update soooooon <3 xoxo

Weekly

Hello Billy!

So, i'm pretty busy busy this week. Working my ass off and doing stupid things.
Working straight has been a norm for me and getting a weekend off has also been a norm. I miss a lot of people right now especially my bestfriend and others.
School is starting this Monday and i can't wait. Even though school is starting, i'm still gonna work my ass off my going straight to work after school. It's tiring, but when it's payday, it's bittersweet.
So suffer now, enjoy later :')

Just some random pictures over the week. Enjoyxz :')

Hi

Heyyy
This week has been awesome for me. I just love this week. Plus, I think my attitude did change for a better this week :')

So this week start off with a rocky start especially with Natasha Norhani who is one of my good friend. I don't even know why? I guess her being extremely busy and stress due to sec 5 or whatever.
I really don't meant to be mean, but I myself not sure why i reply to her in that manner that cause us to be where we are now.

Well, I just wanna say that I'm sorry NNBMZ. Deep down, I really miss you a lot.

You, me hug now?

So on Monday, met up with Aishura and Suriani to take our Cert and also testimonials. Afterwards, met up with dear Mdm Sadiah to have small talk.

Working for 3 days only for this week and 4 days next week. Yesterday, I work for an event at Jurong Point and I was really really tired but what to do? Hais

So today I did some cleaning up and shifted to a new and bigger room. Kinda love it and the walls are turquoise color!

FROM THIS

TO THIS

Really love my media corner. Computer and laptop side by side. Wanted to get another screen soon for my work related in the near future. Double screen yes?

Can't get use to the room yet so brother will be sleeping with me for this week. Hopefully by then, i get use to it.
Alright, done blabbering. Till next time!

XX

Happy

Been almost like 5 weeks coming to 6 weeks and i'm beginning to move on. Yes, i am moving on.
No point hoping. No more high hopes. No more bullshits.
I need to be happy. I must.

I need to cut down. I've been taking it too much and it's making me sicker day by day. Not sure if it's the side effects or what. But it has been 2 days and I'm getting better.
Call me stupid or whatever shit, i regret doing it. I really do

Bitches playing is the back

I swear my bed is like a paradise to me. It is so comfy, you jelly?

Say HI to the 2 years old me. So how do i look? Same? Not same?
I can see my panties but heck, what do i care?

I miss my long hair a lot.
Even though, i have long hair already i still miss the old ones cause it was so so long.
Hah, pardon me for my rotten english darlings :')

Abruptly ending my post again.
And yes, this is just a typical post.

Putting on a fake smile, so i don't have to

explain why i'm not happy.

It's killing me

Those feelings inside of me is killing me.
I really want someone to love me for who i am and not for who i'm not. I hate acting differently towards different people.

I just want to be me for once.

The girl who don't really care about her looks. The girl who don't give a fuck if she's fat. The girl who don't really care if her hair is messy or not. The girl who loves to eat a lot of food and will still be hungry no matter what.
It's like, I am enduring all this things in school. Every morning, i will try to look good cause first impression counts but that dreads me!
Straightening my hair every morning so my hair will look good. Eating a little bit in school so that nobody will talk behind my back and say " eh, she eat a lot sia "
Controlling my temptation not to buy tidbits in school cause i will never stop once i start eating them. These things might be "heck care" to you guys, but all these things make me feel super insecure.
Maybe that's just my character?

Behind my smile is a hurting heart.

Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart.

Look closely at me and you will see,

the girl I am isn't me.

Make It Right For A Better Ride

Okay, i decided to join this contest so bear with me please :')

Do you guys remember the catchy and cute jingle, “Train is coming, train is coming, train is coming!!!!~?” Well, the Graciousness on Public Transport programme is back! This time we will be able to read poems, reflections and also calligraphies from fellow commuters on how to make our journeys more pleasant by being gracious.

Below is just my reflection on how i think our journeys can be made better if more people can be more considerate and gracious. Stomp is forever stompin on people that is sitting on the priority sit. Everything also want stomp. Fell asleep on the seat also stomp, clipping nails in the train also stomp. So let say, an old man is directly infront of you and due to the train jerkiness he fell, what will you do? Help him? Yes can. But confirm you will be stomp about because you did not even offered him your seat. How can you overcome this shame? With the citizens critisizing you and all that? So please, if you saw an elderly or pregnant lady, please please offer them your seat. Priority seats are meant for them anyway, not you. Be like me, i always give up my seat to those who need it more than me :')

"DON'T BE SHY, GIVE IT A TRY"

& remember, please join the “Make It Right For A Better Ride” Twitter contest and stand to win a pair of movie tickets! More details on http://on.fb.me/betterride

I am

I am mentally exhausted from all this problems.
I wish i could go to a place where nobody is there and just scream and cry. I am usually the type of person who hides her feelings inside and now, sooner or later it's gonna explode.
Been sick for the past few days, hmm what's new? I'm forever sick ever since i broke off with my boyfriend.

I'M LOVESICK

I'm here crying like a lost child while waiting for your return and yet you've move on. I don't give a shit not more.
No matter what, life still needs to go on.

I feel that my parents are not giving me all the attention and love that i wanted. It's driving me nuts. I want to be care, i want to love, that's all i'm asking for it.
Please don't treat me like a toy, i have feelings too you know?

I hide all my problems behind my smile.

Behind my smile is a world of pain. You think

you know me, but you have no fucking idea.

I'm gonna sleep now. Goodnight :')

I Miss

Okay, so time check it's only 3.08am
Been thinking a lot for the past few hours. Reflecting myself and so on.
And i almost cry because i was too emotional :')

So yeah, been thinking about how a group of friends has changed me to become better or for the worst. Always thankful for them being there for me.






Izzareah Khalesha, Nur Alisya and Siti Sharifah - group of girls that i have been closed with since year 2010. It's a pity that all of us has gone separate ways.
I felt that it was only yesterday that Izzareah sat down next to me and wished me Happy Valentines Day while giving me a small card. Ah misses.
The arguments we had during N levels which has made us so awkward for awhile. But hey, what's friendship without some dramamama right?

I just miss you girls :')

Moving on, another group of people that i thought of - Jani and gangzx. Maybe stupid, but this is what i always say to parents when i'm meeting that.



Knew them since 2010 too. I love going out with them :')
Playing L4D2. Memories memories.
I can't believed that our last meetup was actually on november, look and now it's mid march. How time flies.
I wish we could hang out again ye?

Okay, next next.


CPMY - my bitch <3 Nothing much to say, just miss miss miss her :') and lastly, NSBNM and NNBMZ
I don't know what's up with both of you but can you guys stop fighting?!
I miss you guys a lot :'(

AND HERE'S ME ABRUPTLY ENDING MY POST

First let me start of with this adorable photo

of me :')

How do i look?

So today was the most awesomeness day of my life. Because i managed to know someone better, no let's make that 3.
Where have they been for the past 3 months?! Took my phase test just now and it was pretty easy even though i did not even study a single thing.
My phase test was basically just creating our own website which i've learned it before so it was not a problem for me. Submit my work and Mr Chow was signalling to me that my email link was not working.
How can this be called a test when the teacher is helping you?! Even Wei Chee came over to my table and help me to link it to the correct place.
Thankyouverymuch Wei Chee.

Moving on.
Few weeks ago, went out with my dear Fyqa <3 Was kinda last minute for me and plus i got to work on that day. So stupid me went out of the house with my wet hair(which i hate most) and without makeups. I feel so naked on that day. My hair was fucking frizzy on that day too and i need to put up with me being ugly and uncomfortable on that day. But, thankyouverymuch Fyqa for the swensons :')

And then yesterday i did not attend school because i was plain lazy. So texted Fyqa for last minute meet up.
Treated her some yummy pretzel and there we go searching for pens, rubber, leads, pencils and idk what fuck for her school.
Was feeling hungry so we headed to swensons for lunch.
Thankyouverymuch Fyqa for the treat again. I feel so in debt to her :3

Now, let's the pictures do some talking :')

NEWSFLASH

I think i am falling in love with someone :')

Bitch Please

So here i am once again updating this old blog of mine. I used to be into blogging but ever since school started i guess i have no time for it.
Not much different of being 17 by the way and yeah i was really hoping to get a cake on my
birthday but turns out i didn't. I don't really care though because i can just buy a cake as and
when i want right?

Moving on.
School life, so far so good. I realised to be independent then just to rely on others.
I should just do my own things you know? It's like i'm free right now.
No more problems. I am actually not hurt by your words, i am in fact, happy.
It makes me stronger.

"for every minute you are upset,

you're losing a minute of happiness"

So i do what i do best, keep calm and smile because i love to smile right?
Really appreciate to some people. Being there for me when i need a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

"crying doesn't mean that i'm weak,

it means that i have been strong for too long"

I am sensitive therefore i cry a lot, but do you know why i became sensitive? No you don't.
But whatever, just continue saying i'm "gembeng, case tak leh kene sikit and whatever shit" cause haters gonna hate.

If you think that i am being a bitch and not growing up by telling the whole fucking class, the whole fucking school, my whole fucking family and relatives about my problems, you're so wrong girl. No, i am not telling them my problems to gain sympathy. No, i am not telling them my problems just to be on their side.

I JUST TELL THEM MY FUCKING PROBLEMS

BECAUSE I NEED A FUCKING ADVICE

Alright, enough of me ranting here and there. Be it at facebook or twitter, you no like it you unfollow k?
English hancur :')

I'm going to give up my dreams of entering private due to financial crisis. The school that i wanted to go so badly to obtain my fucking diploma fucking require me to pay $6K-$7K one whole shot. You tell me now, where am i suppose to get that kind of money? If by monthly of cause i can pay, but it wants me to pay in full.

When school reopens, i'm gonna go to school every single day to maintain a good attendance and study so i can graduate go to higher nitec and then to poly and then to uni.
Insyaallah, i can overcome all the obstacles that might be in the way. Amin :')

Now lets the pictures do the talking alright?

Till next time :')



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